Turns Out We're Both Crazy

Dang.

My husband and I both totally freaked out today.  There are a lot of new people in our neighborhood - so one of the more established neighbors decided to have a party.  We RSVPed and planned to go this afternoon.   We have a hard time walking up and being neighborly to people because we have some pretty annoying anxiety issues.  So this seemed easier than trying to be friendly on our own.

We had some confusion though.  The party said it would go from 1pm -?.   CJ interpreted this as "Stop by anytime after 1".  I hadn't read the invitation and then I  freaked out because that wasn't 100% clear to me.  Maybe it didn't mean that at all.  Maybe everyone was SUPPOSED to show up at 1 and the "?" just meant the leaving time was in question.  I didn't actually look at the invite until 1:15 - when I was in the middle of making tomato sauce.  I freaked out and asked CJ if he knew from talking to them that it was that more casual option.  Nope - he just assumed.  So I totally panicked and told CJ he had to go without me down the street and I would come later.

My anxiety is usually based in thinking that "Oh, my god - what if I didn't do the right thing?"  I completely broke down, because I felt blind sided.   I can keep my anxiety in check if I have a plan.  My plan in this case would have been to show up at 1. 

CJ has social anxiety about doing things alone.  He was only mildly ok with going to a party where we wouldn't know people only because I would be there with him.  I had destroyed his plan by asking him to go first alone.

So he headed down the street with his chest getting tighter and tighter - squeezing out all the calm.  When he got to the neighbor's house there was no one on the deck or outside.  He got closer and could hear no sounds of party-like behavior.  So he came back home. 

Some arguing followed.
 "You have to call them - we rsvped!"
 Followed by "I can't do it - I'm the worst person ever!"
 "We have to do it - we RSVPED!!!"
"I can't do it - I hate phones!"
"I hate phones too!"
"Why did we think we could handle trying to be normal friendly neighbors?!?"

We've come to the logical conclusion any normal couple would come to in this situation.

We have to move.